I USE MY YOUTH BLOOD TO GET THROUGH THE NIGHT

...CAUSE I'M A VAMPIRE, VAMPIRE HURTING FOR FUN.

(ME BY EMILIA LAGK)

PS BYE BYE 2009
PPS

AND I REMEMBER WHY I DREAM IN BLACK AND WHITE

Givenchy SS10 by Mert&Marcus (wwd)

GIVE ME EVERY LITTLE THING

If my 70s summer dress just smells of sea, do I have to wash it? No.

It still carries the vibe over an early night this year, when we thought swimming in the cold, muddy sea after Pet Shop Boys concert was a good idea. It was. And the concert was wonderful too. I still have a bag full of silvery confetti somewhere. So as I put on the dark blue cotton dress with golden stripes...I wonder why don't I just pretend the sound of the washing machine is the sound of the sea, burn candles and read Brigitte Bardot's autobiography while having a glass of red wine, except I think last night I drank today's worth but you never know...

Ooh Mariacarla is amazing, wish I was her...oh no I don't, I'm happy with myself! But you know. That is exactly the kind of summer dress I would love to live in. Spaghetti straps! Maybe I'll even sew it myself like I've always wanted, thought that giving up resolutions and changing now is the best idea I've had for a while, right there with swimming and laughing with friends. Life, don't stop, give me every little thing...

(Photo Women Management)

BABY, SONG FOR ANY SEASON, I GOT SO MANY REASONS, YOU GONNA WANNA MAKE IT SOME DAY...

1. Yamamoto 1998/ Inez Van Lamsweerde & Vinoodh Matadin
2. DINOSAURUXIA by Karoliina Niemenkari

HAPPY HOLIDAYS!!

Here's 2 presents.

1.Special Spotify playlist: STAY FLY!

Tracklist:

You Gonna Want Me - Tiga
Never Win (Benny Benassi Remix Edit) - Fischerspooner
I'm Not Alone (Deadmau5 remix) - Calvin Harris
Hard Times (Jack Beats remix) - Patrick Wolf
Triangle Walks (Tiga's 1-2-3-4 remix) - Fever Ray
Should Have Taken Acid With You - Neon Indian
Colours (Misfits remix) - Zebra and Snake
My Girl (Our House remix) - Pet Shop Boys
Stay Fly - Three 6 Mafia
50 Cent Just Fucking Around - 50 cent

I've been listening to these songs nonstop for weeks, I guess they're pretty good or then it's just me...


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2. DINOSAURUXIA CHRISTMAS SONG!! VERY SPECIAL, CLICK!

Yeah, staying in for three days almost alone, reading fashion magazines, Hanif Kureishi, Kurt Vonnegut, drinking red wine, sauna, doing a very special diy-project, forgetting time and space...

YOU CAN NEVER WIN

Felt bit sad today after reading W. I mean, there's actually a private island in Italy with 500-year-old castle and garden owned by a prince whose family has also a saint in the family tree. And his grand-daughter is a girlfriend of one of the Monaco princes. And they look so happy in pictures, chilling in the beaches Corsica and St.Tropez. Sometimes I spend hours clicking on London's rich kids facebook pictures but I don't blame destiny, just myself. I haven't really done anything yet, so what am I even expecting? For the last year I've felt left out, seeing my friends, no matter what their material status is, going places, things working out, everyone doing just what's on the radar for them. And me? Well, I was really happy to pass my COMPULSORY CHEMISTRY COURSE I SHOULD'VE DONE THREE YEARS AGO AND BASICALLY RUNNING AWAY FROM AMBULANCES. I also discovered there's something better than Gossip Girl drama and it's called real life. Luckily I've only managed to scar my body. Good or bad...

(It's better late than never I guess, lets start something while it's still 2009.)

I'M NOT MADE FOR LOVE

Photo Sanna Lehto xx

Ps. I'M MEGA ANRGY AT THE MOMENT....CAN'T FIND MY VISA ELECTRON & NO CASH....WANTED TO GO OUT AND SEE MY FRIENDS AND PARTY TONIGHT BUT I GUESS INSTEAD I'M JUST LETTING MYSELF TO FORGET SOME PEOPLE HAVE WAR IN THEIR COUNTRIES AND CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP CAUSE I CAN'T AFFORD ALAIA SHOES.

Yeah.

And hey, I had a dream once, in it I was like Rachel Zoe but an art dealer...

x

THE DESPERATE COLOURS OF FALL

Vest friends, shoes Zara, rest 2nd hand.

It seems like winter has arrived overnight. Well, one night you're dancing out and the next morning you can't walk in those shoes back home and have to borrow your friend's UGGs. I tried to fight the cold today with buying pretty underwear and warmer tights... Taking out the faux-furs, rest of the merino knits and taking shoes to cobbler is next on the list. These beauties will stay in a box until the snow melts and streets dry. I got to wear them 4 times since I bought them a month back, but what good times those were! They look so good with patterned tights, leopard especially, but here's a vintage stocking find that I finally started to wear since they also reminded me of Givenchy's patterns.

Here's an outfit shot, thought 90s ice-skater dress worn backwards looked good with my friends minimalistic vest and a weird Thor necklace.



Ps. feels weird to actually...post...pictures of my outfits and dissect them. I guess this what happens the day after you've watched Rachel Zoe Project 2, somehow it reminded me how much I love this all. Hope you are not too shocked. Sanna Lehto took these pictures!

5 AM, OUT AGAIN, TRIANGLE WALKS

getting a feeling
maybe I will dream again
having that feeling
when there's no one awake
no no one awake

A picture I took this Summer, of my dear friends. And I love Fever Ray so much.

And life. Morrissey, I finally did it, I accepted myself.

I mean, I don't know why has it taken me 19 years to look in the mirror and accept myself, but now I just feel like, dark circles under my eyes, yeah, why not. Some people have war in their countries.

Thanks everyone for this weekend, you're the best.

SOMETIMES I WONDER IF MY HEART JUST BEATS TOO FAST

Photos Emilia Lagk

I WANTED TO BE WITH YOU ALONE AND TALK ABOUT THE WEATHER

Balenciaga Spring 2000 from style.com. Slowly starting to feel spaghetti straps...and hello, young Malgosia Bela. I should really just go to the gym!

//Ps. I ended looking up these pictures after thinking about what's relevant in fashion. What I consider relevant, after Ann Dem, old Lang et cetera. My second choice would be Prada FW06. Just..lots of black wool trousers, black wool in general...also thought about my motivations about studying fashion because it's soon the time of the year when you have to apply to schools. Am I good enough? I do my best, is that good enough? Sometimes I just feel like everything that goes through my head is from I heart Huckabees opening scene...

Motherfucking cocksucker motherfucking shit fucker what am I doing? What am I doing? I don't know what I'm doing. I'm doing the best that I can. I know that's all I can ask of myself. Is that good enough? Is my work doing any good? Is anybody paying attention? Is it hopeless to try and change things? The African guy is a sign, right? Because if he isn't, than nothing in this world makes any sense to me. I'm fucked! Maybe I should quit. Don't quit! Maybe I should just fucking quit. Don't fucking quit! I don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to fucking do anymore! Fucker! Fuck shit!

I love that movie.

THIS TIME THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT, CAN'T YOU SEE THAT I'M TRYING

It's December...
This is not a list of new year resolutions but..
I want things to be different...
I want to be a person who burns expensive candles, has ten Chanel nail polishes and reads poetry and has life goals like working for and with the best and then setting up the best company in her field.
I want to study French.
I want to find the perfect perfume.
See my friends more often.
Have secret magic powers to watch True Blood season three with them.

I have a goal alright, it involves being me.

And not next year....but now.

And then I'll see.

...if I should aim higher.

VANESSA TRAINA BY PAUL MAFFI

The things that scare us today, what if they happen someday?

So what if nothing is safe
So what if no one is saved
No matter how sweet
No matter how brave
What if each to his own lonely grave?

- From Regina Spektor's The Sword & The Pen

Two more pictures by Sanna Lehto, I am in love with the colours in the first picture. My second hand fur and dress were absolutely perfect for this!

Ps. I'm also in love with this Regina song...