a healthy distrust

1. & 3. of me by Emilia, 2. & 4. by me.

Well these are some random pictures from this year I've wanted to post for a while now.

And random words.

I just cleaned my wardrobe again, probably going to do that for whole day...it's my kind of fun.

I had a really busy weekend and now it's Tuesday. School's school, I have a night class starting tomorrow, should probably do some research about the time and the place. Then I'm trying to save this one course I have but I think I'm doomed..the best part is that it's clothes design and this is not the first time I've quit it. No, the best part is that I've been thinking for a really long time to apply into every school that has to do with clothes and design and I can't even get my ass up to attend my lousy high school course until I'm kicked off from it and it's not like I have anything better to do. I guess that's just the old me...

My mom is putting a lot of pressure on me about moving out. I really want to you know but I can't get quite hold of it why am I not getting my act together and making it happen by getting my courses together and finding a job and all that.

HAHA WHY AM I EVEN WRITING THIS DOWN...WHEN I HAVE A POST-IT IN MY WALL THAT SAYS SELF-PITY WON'T SAVE YOU :D I MEAN I COULD'VE WRITTEN HOW MUCH I DANCED ON SATURDAY OR HOW MANY TALENTED MINDS I MET OVER THE WEEKEND OR HOW I HAD A GOOD CUP OF MORNING COFFEE FOR THE FIRST TIME OR HOW I REALLY WANT TO FIND THE SECOND ISSUE OF DOSSIER SO I COULD READ AN AWESOME SHORT STORY BUT NO...WHEN I SHOULD BE ASKING WHY NOT? And chill.

stop dancing

You know when you're sometimes just so disappointed with everything? I like that feeling because I know that I too have disappointed someone and it's all ok and just real life.

BUT YOU, YOU JUST KNOW, YOU JUST DO

Chiara Mastroianni & Benicio Del Toro by Bruce Weber for L'Uomo Vogue, a random still from Chiara Mastroianni film, snapshot from Arab Parrot, Agathe Bonitzer in Un Chat Un Chat, Chiara Mastroianni in Un Chat Un Chat

I never knew Catherine Deneuve had a daughter, Chiara Mastroianni, until I saw a film she is in, Un Chat Un Chat, that I mentioned before. The other lead was a new face to me too, Agathe Bonitzer who reminded me of Clemence Poesy. I hope we see both more!

It's so rainy here...the last days of summer are simply eaten up by the greyness. It doesn't matter as long as I've got tea and the xx but I'm longing for September's UK Harpers with Natalia Vodianova on the cover, I want the issue in my table, now, along September W and exotic Vogues my friend has bought me overseas. These days are also perfect for going through clothes, you really want only the best ones left to brighten up the days, the cashmere you can seep in for moments with books...oh who am I kidding, I LOVE RAINY AUTUMN DAYS! The only downside is you can't really wear anything suede safely...and I spotted yet another suede boots I want.

BUT I AM SURE, I AM SURE YOU'VE HEARD IT BEFORE

I've had one album on repeat today...The xx's xx..and especially one song, Heart Skipped A Beat. Also found these images of Georgia Loitz and Marie Laure Noailles from The Imagist, oh how they have fitted the mood, just so good, so good, heart skipped a beat and when I called you, you were out reach but I am sure...

The birds remind me of what we made, the birds remind me of what remains

Weird outifit picure from last Monday (but that's just how I look in real life) with another farewell party, she is in Norway by now. Everyone is leaving/ coming back and leaving again..makes me want to do the same or shamelessly stay here. I don't know, I guess I'll see where I am this time next year and this time I really mean it because I'll be finishing high school and I guess I am old enough by now. Being mature is another matter.

Yesterday I asked the bartender to recommend me something. I got a drink with a odd price named Sex In The....wait for it..Toilet. It tasted good though, it was basically just Sex On The Beach but with a better name. A remix of Patrick Wolf's Hard Times and almost every song I wanted to hear were played too. I don't know, life seems relevant and Dazed Digital's August playlist has some fine tracks!

I'm wearing Clubmasters + second hand + Cruz for Mango heels, this has been one of my favorite outfits recently, the jacket and the dress just go so well togheter, it looks good too when the dress is longer, in the picture I've tied it to a knot to make it shorter so it has more layers going on. It's not that see through actually, it's just the flash!

Woke up this morning....you got yourself a gun

I had a nice weekend, or week, actually it didn't feel like school had started at all, I only missed one class due to remembering my timetable wrong. I've got two courses now and one starting in a week so it's 'chill'. On Thursday I ate 2 slices of blueberry pie my friends had baked and later on danced my heart out with some help of tequila shots at Misfits, Redrum. Apparently, they too want to support young/fresh DJ's by showcasing them at nights called Young Guns which I really appreciate plus their efforts took off super well with Emperatron at the decks. Keep it up!

Friday was the Night of Arts, I spent the afternoon trying to recruit new people to Kiasma's youth group (the finnish in the previous post was about that), it was a success but a one that left me very tired for the rest of the night. The best part of Friday was getting this t-shirt!!! Actually, it was my friends but I asked him if I could have it and he agreed. I wore it happily two days in a row, We Got Beef is a really 'chill' bar in Helsinki. Packed with guys that look like they are either graphic designers, skaters or DJs (or possibly all of the three), just that you know why I go there...Of course I had to spend time there on Friday too just because I was wearing the shirt... I think on Saturday after friends' farewell party I bumped into the designer of the print, it was really funny because he misunderstood what I was asking and thought that I didn't know the place. I mean, I wouldn't wear a band t-shirt featuring a band I've never heard of. Come to think about it, that's such a bashed about subject I'd actually do it just because, like when in the beginning of last week I thought I'd never wear T's with prints.

On Saturday I also went to see two new films at Espoo Cine, The Limits of Control by Jim Jarmusch and a French indie Un Chat Un Chat (Pardon My French), both really good and well costumed. Too well actually...the first had so sleek suits and a pair of sunglasses by Tom Ford that I had to see the credits to see if his name was in them. Later I googled and turns out Jarmusch asked Ford to do the suits but he was swamped so the films costume designer got a good, old tailor in Madrid to do them. Un Chat Un Chat was a very french film in every way, full of Isabel Marant and women with long wavy hair. I think I want to watch both films again!

Run to the lights of the city, these moments pass and we'll be there

I was sick for most of the weekend...but I ended up not missing all of the fun! On Sunday night me and Sanna and Emilia waited for friends to come back from Flow and had the most dashing time while at it. Went to have some refreshments at this fancy place Torni, on the 13th floor, with a nice view over the nightly centre of Helsinki. I had the cheapest drink of course...it went by the name of 53rd and 3rd, was good and lifted up spirits. I loved sitting there with my friends, we were all so beautiful and young and bright. Big earrings, headbands, underwear as outerwear, mauve, white...it certainly felt good to be alive. Afterwards we walked over to Erottaja and had a cup of tea each in the empty bar as we read magazines, laughed at more than several things and had general jolly time. You know those times when you rise from the table to get something, walk over and turn around to see your friends laughing, at ease, just like in the movies? Those passing moments? They are good.

Then we met up with friends and went over to Julia's house to eat croissants, pizza and french fries with soy meat products. It was a perfect night in my book.

Photographs by Sanna

SO THIS IS MY LIFE

OK SO PEOPLE LIVING IN TURKU GO TO WTF TONITE! WANHAN TURUN FESTIVAALI 4 REAL! FREE & NO AGE LIMITS (BUT NATURALLY THERE'S A PLACE FOR ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGES), the spot is 'Brinkkalan Piha'. DINOSAURUXIA is performing at 20, I was supposed to accompany them and fulfill my duties as a manager but I'm sick so I have to skip the beautiful town...but you, go, take a picture, listen to their new tunes and say hi! By the way, it really sucks to get ill just before the last summer holiday weekend but it's good because it reminds you just why one needs to live in the moment.

1st picture of DINOSAURUXIA & 3rd picture of Emilia, the singer, taken by the other half of the band, Sanna Lehto. Basically most of my pictures in this blog are taken by her and damn right I only go for the best, she was in the top 30 of all the people who wanted to get into TAIKs (University of Arts and Design of Helsinki, super respected school) Photography line. Although she didn't get in this time, she and Emilia are both going to study photography for a year in this weird Swedish-speaking part of Finland, Karjaa! Yay.

Now I'm going to eat some berries.

HIT THE HEARTBRAKES

I'm such a bad fashion blogger. I rarely update and when I try to be html-wizard I basically mess it up, sorry this is awful to read at the moment. Plus most my friends are at a super fun festival right now to where I didn't buy tickets when I had the dough because I thought the bookings were really, really sloppy drumroll it doesn't matter if you wanna have fun with your friends. Fuck my life. Here's some kick-ass pair of shoes from Zara that I didn't purchase because I felt my ankle breaking when I toured them in the store. It's so sad because they are so awesome but I don't think they meant these when they said you gotta take risks in your life...to think about it, I'd rather take these than the teenage sob stories.

I KNOW

I think I want to wear this leather vest I worked out from an old leather jacket more often but I have to take it in to make it less bulky and style it better than last time. Hope I find that orange thread somewhere...going to be a nice time with The Smiths records on repeat again...

I better go to bed now, busy week coming up before school starts again.

99 PROBLEMS

These Zara suede ankle boots are like a hybrid between two of my favorite shoes...not sure if I should or could get them cause 99 euros is kinda big money for me under recent circumstances. I also have an eye on another Zara pair but life isn't fair though I just realised I have like three pairs of shoes that are not missing an heel or a sole, lol. 

Fashion...yeah it's a nice place to escape from real life. I'm still tossing out stuff that I don't wear out from my closet and rack and drawers. 

Picture taken by Sanna, thanks!  

OBSESSED

I love my stack of 90s Vogues..had a good moment when I found them for 20 cent each a ong time ago!