you thought by now you'd be so much better than you are, you thought by now they'd see that you have come so far

www.apartamentomagazine.com/

You know sometimes when you're in the cashier line and you kinda feel like your outfit deserves only the prettiest packaging, that your not-quite-chanel (well, Coco herself said that luxury is all about the illusion anyway) jacket and bag would perfectly match with Vogue cigarettes? Well, I've been there and right from that moment on I've yet again realized how the modern day with its choose the right crackers choose your life via the right products has drained me out and actually how sad I become when I read of sale scores, seeing brands everywhere and the ads in bus windows forcing me to not look out if I don't want a headache. At the same time I cheer at the scores, congratulate myself at my knowledge of brands and their history of violating and I have to admit sometimes I purely enjoy the outdoor ads taking over public space if they happen to be high-fashion images pleasing my eye. Whenever I buy something new, especially from high street, I try to soothe myself with the same mantras: it's made of this and this material, made in this and this country or it's just plain simply updating my look to bit a trendier mood. Usually I find myself feeling more happier in something like a second hand jacket with a classic design that's over twenty years old and I'll probably wear it for another twenty, and all this for 3 euros 10 cents. I've bought the H&M loose shirt made in Poland and spent three hours reading Adbusters and Wired in it to be reminded that hey, it's a great buy but what the fuck, all these people in thrid world country wastelands with their swollen eyes from the toxic, could there be something wrong with, uhm, everything?

Here is something that I found useful today:

Never go to art school. Never go to New York. Never rent a loft. Dump your font folder. Forget symmetry and colour coordination. Stop taking text from editorial that you don’t read and packaging it in eye-catching ways. Walk away from your computer. Then take off. Go to India, rural China, Rio, Caracas, Belize. Mingel with the filthy rich and the dirt poor. Dig up all of the roots of terror. Make hunger, disease, cruelty, lust, greed, self-preservation and genocide your roomates. Then, when you run out of money and can’t take it anymore, fly back home. Look in the mirror. Face your fears, your weaknesses, strengths, your imminent demise. Then, when all of this begins to get into a master narrative in front of your eyes, go get a job.

- From Kalle Lasn's Design Anarchy

I feel like staying home. I feel like staying over my friends, like now. I've never made my home a place where I could relax, cause it's covered with piles of stuff, like this great interior magazine I bought on one rainy day. I want to make my room beautiful, a place I'd welcome every time I open the door. Before that, I'm at a happy place in my friends houses, at parks, in the streets watching people around me instead of the endless stream of the life I should be living, smiling back at the fake smiles and blank stares.



Marina & The Diamonds - I am not a robot