Understand, learn to demand, compromise, sometimes lie, get the balance right.

Today, after fifteen minutes of trying to find a nice t-shirt with my ugly pair of jeans, I rushed to catch my bus and tripped over in my Zara boots. Won't someone help me please, cause I got to pick myself up from the ground in this concrete jungle, what do you got for me? I inhaled for a second, stood up and then just slowly ran 500 meters and catched it anyways. My jeans have a grungy hole now, just when I was about to rip them. Perfect. My right hand palm will heal. It's not like I'd have list of demands written on it.

I just feel like trashing half of my clothes so the ones that I love would just be surrounded with space. Just getting half of the things I own out of my life. And the next time I want to buy something, it would be Hermès. I've been reading Deluxe: How luxury lost it's lustre by Dana Thomas and it has been helping me with this ideology. This editorial here can be seen in September French Vogue, it's like a broken record if you ask me, but not really. The kinda record you would play over and over again. Daria, Emmanuelle Alt, I&V...I don't think with this I'll ever need a paper cup if I feel like choking. Not getting sick of it! Though I'm definitely paying the price to become whatever is promoted as proved today. Oh, Anna Selezneva is the covergirl, it's only her second Vogue cover this month.

Yesterday, coming back from the Sigur Ros concert, my friend asked me an intresting question about a friend's friend behaviour towards me: don't you care that she thinks you're an airhead? I never succeeded in giving a good first impressions, or second, and my dressing doesn't help either. But do I care? Have I ever...? In fact, I just forgot her behaviour until my friend brought it up. After years of building this sheild after being bullied and blah blah blah stylish stylish low self esteem...seriously, a girl in combat boots and red dread locks should know better. Maybe she was just having a bad day.

P.S I'm not going to post lots of pictures of myself anymore, not before I've become exactly what I want to be. I don't know how long it's going to take but in the end I want to fully connect to Morrissey's lyrics: don't rake up my mistakes, I know exactly what they are...

scanned by cadg @tFS